It’s the little things in life, like cucumber gimlets.

Dearest Liver,

I’m not having such a great day today. My bones hurt from my neupogen shot yesterday, I’m exhausted, and just generally feeling stressed out and a little sad today. Sometimes I have these sorts of days. My general stance on this is to allow myself to wallow in whatever I’m feeling for no more than 24 hrs and then I move on. I don’t know if this is the healthiest way to deal with things or not, but it has gotten me through the last year and a half of this cancer BS pretty well, so I think it’s working for me.

Today I’m going to try and drag myself out of my funk and think about the little things in life that make me happy. Like the fact that my tumors in you are down by 50%! FIVE ZERO! That’s pretty awesome. And I got to celebrate this on Monday with some of the best UCSF staff ever! After 6 months of not being allowed to have any alcohol at all, I was rewarded by being taken out for a cucumber gimlet at Bourbon and Branch. It was the perfect cocktail choice and the one we have been talking about for months. Continue reading It’s the little things in life, like cucumber gimlets.

There’s a hole in my gum, dear Liza…

Dearest Liver,

Why is that that the good news always comes with the bad? My tumor markers are even lower than they were at my last post (163!) BUT my jaw is a mess.

When I was first diagnosed with metastatic cancer my bones were the biggest issue. I was put on a shot called xgeva to strengthen my bones and help kill my bone mets, but was told to go to the dentist and watch out for osteonecrosis of the jaw. Don’t google it unless you want to be traumatized by the pictures for life, but it basically causes your jaw bones to die and to look like you’re an extra from the Walking Dead. Instead, I like to call it zombie jaw. Continue reading There’s a hole in my gum, dear Liza…

Finally, things are going in the right direction!

Dearest Liver,

The last two treatments haven’t been so bad to me, so I wanted to share these good results with you! Your functions have all been in a normal range for 2 treatments in a row now. My doctor and nurse practitioners are all very excited about your progress and I find it easier to put up with feeling sort of sick when I can see good results! It’s only 2 days post chemo and it’s way past my bedtime, so I’m going to keep this short and just share my results in the charts that MyChart provides me! Continue reading Finally, things are going in the right direction!

You Ruin Everything

Dearest Liver,

Thanks to you I had the worst week/weekend. I had a large dose of chemo and a stupid flu shot on Tuesday, the first of 2 Neupogen shots on Wed, a fever resulting in a 7 hr stay in the worst ER ever Thursday night into Friday morning, and then my second shot of Neupogen on Friday.  So most of my week/weekend was filled with me feeling sick, flu-like, weak, tired, painful, and nauseous. Continue reading You Ruin Everything

Fiddly Bits and Tricks for AC-T Chemo

Dearest Liver,

I learned a new word while at chemo today: fiddly bits. My new favorite chemo nurse, Caroline, said it to me in passing and I can’t stop trying to use it in sentences. She wasn’t even my chemo nurse today, but I still talk to her because she cracks me up. It’s a really fun word, I’m going to try and make it part of my vocabulary. Continue reading Fiddly Bits and Tricks for AC-T Chemo

Getting to know you

Dearest Liver,

You haven’t been so nice to me lately so I thought this blog might give us a chance to get to know each other a little better.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, you weren’t even a thought on my mind. It was all about chemo, radiation, mastectomies, reconstruction, hormones and eventually lymphedema. Did you get jealous of all of the attention given to other areas of my body? I thought that I was keeping you entertained with my casual love affair with wine and gin, but I guess it wasn’t enough for you. So here we are… 1.5 years after being diagnosed with metastatic cancer and you’re the star of the show. My bone mets have been kept pretty well under control with the various study drugs and chemo, but you are still a pain in my ass. Continue reading Getting to know you